Another Reason I Don't Keep A Gun in the House

The neighbor's dog will not stop barking.
He is barking the same high, rhythmic barking
that he barks every time they leave the house.
They must switch him on on the way out of the house.

The neighbor's dog will not stop barking.
I close all the windows in the house
and put on a Beethoven symphony full blast,
but I can still hear him muffled under the music,
barking, barking, barking,

and now I can see him sitting in the orchestra,
his head raised confidently as if Beethoven
had included a part for barking dog.

When the record finally ends he is still barking,
sitting there in the oboe section barking
his eyes fixed on the conductor who is
entreating him with his baton

while the other musicians listen in respectful
silence to the famous barking dog solo,
that endless coda that first established
Beethoven as an innovative genius.

Billy Collins, The Apple that Astonished Paris (University of Arkansas Press, 1988)